The Dancing Spine

Meredith Bean McMath

Rosalie Vedra stares at the contraption in the chiropractor's office. She tilts her head to read the metal leg. Posture-matic. Stand on the squeegee footpads and be measured. Yes, she thinks, This machine will tell me, Rosalie, you are out of balance.

My I call you Rosalie? The chiropractor leads her to a little room and begins to explain: this is how we put an end to the imbalance in your life - this hideous, life-threatening imbalance.

I warn you, this is revolutionary! Cutting edge. The gelatinous membrane around your spine is the key. Read all about it on our website. It isn't the spine itself - it's the membrane.

Ohhh. Rosalie nods.

He carefully places a plastic spine between his pant legs and begins twisting the spine this way and that.

Now, here is where the membrane would be, if you could see it.

Rosalie leans forward and stupidly looks for the membrane.

He's bouncing the dirty white plastic spine on his knees - like a baby, up and down - a bouncing spine of truncated leg bones. This is the way you look when you walk, he says.

Like a raw chicken dancing on the kitchen counter, thinks Rosalie, and her eyes widen in surprise.

Soon Rosalie stands before him in her bra and underwear, a thin paper garment tickling her collar bone - she feels flushed as he checks her rotation. Such an obedient patient, he laughs. Neck rotation -20% loss, he says, still smiling. Bend over and touch your - yes. 30% loss.

So pleased with me, thinks Rosalie.

Knee up. Loss 10%.

I give him joy - I am money in the bank.

Now, here are glasses to wear as I take the x-rays, Rosalie.

They are black ovals with murky green lenses. A plastic spine with no legs wearing glasses like a blind man is very funny to Rosalie. I can't see anything through these, says Rosalie, giggling just a little.

The doctor doesn't find that funny at all.

Now stand and we'll do an adjustment. This is one of my treatments, Rosalie. He leans forward, and his voice drops ever so slightly as he imparts this new information: I'm giving you an adjustment, as I will in our regular sessions.

Oh, he is giving me a gift then.

He brings his hand to one shoulder. Now, men don't mind this at all, he says, but women, well--

Smack comes his ham fist, hard, above the bone.

Well, thinks Rosalie. Well--

Now the other shoulder. THUNK.

She moves to rub her soft skin, prickling warm from his punches.

The technique's a little unusual. He smiles.

Not so unusual, thinks Rosalie. Not so.

And feel how your body has realigned itself!

Oh, yes.

Rosalie Vedra pays the bill and hobbles out the door toward home.

That night she reads the web site: "-miraculous results. Absolutely miraculous!" "You can be free of pain!"

Rosalie's eyes widen once more. Yes. Suddenly she sees the imbalance in her life - it stands outside her, dark eyes staring into her own. It is human, fully formed. It is Rosalie. She stares surprised. Then focuses. For the first time in her life, she truly sees her flesh - her bone - her spine. Yes. There it is. The membrane that wraps around the dense stack of bones, the suffocating pressure, the source of all the pain. Yes.

He is right. This is a revelation.

The next morning, Rosalie comes down to her kitchen, checks the clock on the stove and smiles. She picks up the telephone and dials, and, in a small but determined voice, Rosalie Vedra cancels all future appointments.